You are super old, but just because you're more than half a centennial doesn't mean your sense of humor has expired, so you can enjoy these 60th Birthday Blues Mighty Meds joke pills as well as someone half your age (unless you've gotten diabetes in the last 30 years, anyway). Okay, so they're really a sugary treat, and not medicine that will turn back the clock, but you knew that already. There's no such thing as a miracle cure. Though tea is pretty good, depending on the study you read.