Some retirees get a gold watch, others get a pension, but come on, these days, you're lucky not to get a kick in the keister on your way out the door, so count your blessings when someone hands you these Retirement Mighty Meds joke pills. Yeah, they may not help you actually afford your retirement, let alone enjoy it, but they are a sugary treat that your significant other isn't likely to take away from you just because it'll interact badly with your diabetes or give you sleep toots, and at your age, maybe you should just learn to appreciate the little things. Sorry, that was probably overly harsh. But I'm a millennial. There's no way my generation is going to get to survive to retirement age. I guess I'm just bitter. So that's a bonus. Flip off those damned kids on your lawn by flaunting your ability to retire. You lucky bastard.