Rubber Duckies Tie

Maybe you're more of a Bert than an Ernie, but I bet you can still appreciate this Rubber Ducks tie. Not only will it help you out with your ambiguously gay roommate, but this tie is guaranteed to help you be someone's the one (though it's not guaranteed that they'll be your the one, or that you'll even want them around- it's a tie, not a genie). Can probably be worn in the tub, though you probably shouldn't, and I probably shouldn't have to tell you that; seriously, if you didn't know that on your own you probably shouldn't buy a length of cloth for wrapping around your throat.